13 July 2007

What Plug!??

Despite rumors to the contrary, I do not use a butt plug nor wear magic underwear. I don't wear any underwear. Do you see any underwear on me? I'm a cat, for goodness' sake! Underwear makes it extremely difficult for me to use the litter box. Sure some people say, "Where there's smoke, there's fire, like when Richard Gere was sticking gerbils up his rectum," but I assure you that just because there are rumors about my private parts, there is no fire there.

12 July 2007

A Vote for Satan?

In Florida, televangelist Bill Keller told his 2.4 million e-mail subscribers: "If you vote for Mittens Romney, you are voting for Satan!" Whether or not that's true, I ask you, would a vote for Satan be such a bad thing? Hey, if Satan were in charge, we'd have some good parties and fun times. Vote for me! Kittens know how to have fun. Let the good times roll.