Big Endorsement

Who cares that John McCain was endorsed by some tired old gym queen (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Today, I just received a huge endorsement from Socks the cat, the political mastermind behind Bill's first presidential campaign. Talk about uniting America!

Bonzo for Mittens

Tonight in the presidential debate, the candidates were asked if Ronald Reagan would endorse us for president and if so, why. If Reagan were alive today, he would endorse me for president because I, like Reagan, love chimpanzees.

I Won in Two States, Bitches!

Those mainstream media whores keep saying I've only won one state, Michigan, so far. Don't forget, I also won Wyoming, bitches. I know, there are only 3 people and 4 cats in the whole state of Wyoming, but all the cats voted for me.